Avast!!! I be the Dread Pirate Zackary Josiah. I be one day old today! Just yesterday I was being held prisoner inside the Dread Pirate Mommy. Then she said "Arrrrrrr!" and out I flopped, naked as the day I be born! 6lb 7oz, 20" tall and meaner than Davey Jones in a hurricane!!!
Today I was boarded by some scurvy knaves who tried to get me to drink their ale... but instead I forced my scullery maid Mommy and cabin boy Daddy to feed me some Enfamile Grog!
Send me some booty or I will hunt you down and the Dread Pirate Zackary Josiah leaves no survivors!!!
Arrrr!
